Sita in Agony
When Janaki(Sita) at this youthful age is worthy of all the comforts of Life with Tears streming down she looked down on the Earth wailed.Then thinking of her past and present situation she Like a mad woman, like a drunken woman’s scattered intellect, like the Mane(female horse) which had run a long distance falls on the ground and rolls to relax , again she wept unabashedly and tried to assuage her feelings of her Manam{ Chitha(Memory)+Inner Conscience Mind +Intellect (Bhuddhi) +Ego} saying “ Oh My I this great sinner Mayaavi (Mystic /Sorceer and Magician/ Hypnotic/exponent in deception with ability to vanish into thin air and appear in sky far away or nearby) can take any disguise. He has done deceitful deception on Rama Lakshmana with an illusionary Deer, and forcibly threatened and abducted and brought me here I I can not stay alive caught in the midst of these Rakshasis thinking of Rama and undergoing agony . That great warrior himself has left me to fend for myself, why should I keep my life staying in the midst of these Rakshasis? Do I need those wealth, Ornaments, Luxuries ? Is my Heart made of stone as it is bearing all these anguish caused by attrocities ? or is it destined that my Heart is indestructible? Still it has not exploded? Should I be alive even for a few seconds away from my husband? Is there any Greater Sinner than me? There is no doubt that the Elders, Pathivrathas will ridicule me. is there any doubt on that ? This Earth which is surrounded by Oceans he is the King; His words are like the rain of Amruth(Nectar/Elixir which confers immortality by drinking it); he is more dearer than my Life. Having sucha husband what is the use of being alive and experiencing all the Luxuries ? Hence these Rakshasis can cut my body into pieces and eat them.It is much easier to leave my Life than Living with out my dear Rama.Will I touch this Ravan even with my Left Leg? When that be the case where is the question of having affecction for him? That cruel wicked natured fellow without realizing the Troubles I am under going, he is beseeching me to submit to him.Does he know how much consternation I have towards him? Does that measely fellow know which clan I am born and details of my nature ? So there is no use how much Long you counsell and threaten me. You can guiltonie me into pieces ; are axe my by Sickle;tear my body apart;you can burn me in Fire; I will not even look at Ravana.
My Rama takes the Virtues even from those who commit Aparadh (Unpardonable acts such as sin, misdemanour, delinquency, infraction, violation, crime, offence, guilt, lawbreaker, crime, outlaw, felony), he considers even the smallest help as big. He cannot stand even the slightest of trouble caused unto others . He considers that others should reach their purpose as his Life’s motive. These Auspicious Virtues are accepted even by his enemies. When I am suffering these sort of indignities why is he not even looking at me? It seems I have not done enough Punyam in previous Jhanmas.Can I ever think that he doesn’t have requisite power? Did he not kill in Jhanasthan 10,000 Rakshasaas , Kara , Dhooshanas in 1Muhurtham ie 1 ½ Hours? How much is the Valour of this Ravana who has imprisoned me? Is it a big thing to Kill this Ravana? Have n’t we seen the Ominous Viradha being slained? Can you think it is impossible for him to come to this Lanka which is surrounded by sea on all sides? Is there any place in this Universe where Rama’s Bhana(Arrow with feather) can not enter? While it is so that Enemies cannot near the Valorous Rama , his dear wife being taken by this insignificant Rakshasaa , that Avamanam (Slur, Ridicule,shunn , Disgrace) why is he bearing with?
By chance he doesn’t know that I am here? As Rama has immeasurable Mercy even to the Aparadhi (Unpardonable acts such as sin, misdemanour, delinquency, infraction, violation, crime, offence, guilt, lawbreaker, crime, outlaw, felony)person , Lakshmana who is near him will he pardon Ravana? When Rama had entrusted me with him, when he has seen Ravana taking me away , despite being old in Age, Jhatayu did fierce Battle with him and finally gave laid his Life.Oh My that one Creature also is gone which could have conveyed to Rama the happenings to me? So I think Rama does not know the details. If he had known that I am here, with rage he would have wiped out the entire Rakshsa race from this universe.He would have parched the sea without water and decimated Lanka into pieces, would have erased this slowly Ravana’s name. Just as I am Kadharal ( Pleading,Yelling, Bellowing,screaming loudly, Exasperation), these Rakshasis too having lost their Husbands will Yell and scream in every house. Is there any Doubt?**( Sita’s Curse ?) Since they have immeasurable sagacity with Divine grace these Rama Lakshmanas some how will trace this Lanka and will destroy these Rakshasaas. Does the enemy sighted by them, survive even for seconds?In this Lanka the corpses that will fall , the Eagles will come in crowds after crowds to eat them plucking ; due to smoke caused by Corpses the path will be blocked then it will look a creamtion ground every where.
Can you see that the bad things you cause bad unto you? Very soon my thoughts will culminate; all types of bad omens will happen in this city; due to that this city will lose it’s Lusture and will become desolate. This Lanka which is unapproachable by the Enemies, after this Lowly Sinner Ravana is decimated , Just like a young widow who has lost her husband and has no refuge dies soon, similarly this Lanka also will be erased without a trace. Having Lost the King, with no auspicious happenings , with their husbands dead, this Lanka with widowed Rakshasis , this Lanka will be like a Lusture less Widow who lost her husband. I am going to hear the wailing of Rakshasa Ladies due to calamity of grief and deep throated Crying unabashedly from each and every house. Rama Bhanas(Arrows with Feather) will fall here and kill the great Warriors; it will burn Lanka. Then it will be without Rasmataz and will be dark and ominous looking every where. Is there any doubt that these things will happen soon after Rama comes to know that Ravana has kept me here in Lanka?
Cruel Wicked Ravana who had given me Time deadline is nearing ; only 2 more months are left. If you ask “this he might have told only to scare you, will they truly kill you ? “ Rakshasaas who are consisitetnly commiting Sins, are there any thing they have not done which are despicable? So if you think of their Conduct opposing Dharma, there is an imminent catastrophe in the offing , there is no doubt on this score. Raksha saas who have only Meat as their Food, do they have any differentiation between Dharam & Adhrama in their actions? Ravana on expiry of this deadline, he will command that ,for his Morning breakfast he will order his Chef to cook me and offer to him. Rama who has Red Eyes and pleasnt sight , having been separated from him I am suffering undescribabale Troubles what would I do? How will I escapre from this? I am not destined to be with my husband, if some one offers me poison , I will very soon reach Yama Lok(Place of Dead).
I think Rama Lakshmana do not know that I am alive. If they had known will they not search me in the entire Earth? So thinking I am dead they are not paying attention to search me?
Or is it Rama due to pangs of separation from me has Lost his Life? The Devas, Gandharvas,Sidhas, Sages won’t they all be happy to see him In Heaven? They are the fortunate ones.or knowing the intrinsic values of all materials , who is always search the Noblest Dharma that God incarnation the Kingly Saint what is the use of a Wife for him? Hence due to Divine Grit, is he not paying attention to me? It can’t be that way. Heevan Mukthas do not accept such checks and Balances of Karma(consequences of good Deeds and Bad deeds) . if they accept Ii they will conduct it properly but will not leave ti in the lurch.
Hence since I am in a far away distant place,and also it is long time since he separated me has he forgotten me? If he sees me often, his affinity will increase; if does not see will It not deplete? Chee I thinking like this is wrong.
Only those who are ungrateful will do like this. Can I construe such a sin to Rama who will give away his very own Life to save those who are near him? So there is no use in accusing him.
Rama who had so far been having affection for me and has been protecting me in all aspects, if I think that he has forgotten me, then there should be some Dosh(Fallacy, deficiency, defect,flaw, offence, weakness, fault, imperfection, shortcoming, blame, catch, mistake, guilt, reflection, accused, culprit,delinquent, culpable,convice, blameworthy)in myself.If that be so , I do not remember having done any Aparadh (Unpardonable acts such as sin, misdemanour, delinquency, infraction, violation, crime, offence, guilt, lawbreaker, crime, outlaw, felony)unto him.
So it is become certain that only due to my Poorva Jhanma Karma (purely a consequence of their Past births actions)my Punyam (Bank balance of good Deeds) have been reduced to this and hence I am suffering like this.The best of Culture, Warrior, Valorous, one who protects from enemies, and of magnanimous Nature that great Human than being separated from him and being alive ,it is better to Die. But the same time I am not able to tell clearly it is because of reduced Good Fortune of mine.
By chance the Great Humans “ Because we took Weapons so much troubles have happened” thus deciding threw away Weapons,and have started to eat Fruits, Roots and doing peanance? It can’t be so.A person Born as Kshatriya(Warrior) having earned Enmity with Rakshasaas, will he go away without uprooting them?
Or Ravana with the Golden Deer Mayaavi (Mystified with deception) deceived Rama has he similarly duped them with Maya and killed them? This sort of trouble having been faced some way or other I have to foego my Life. Even this Agony doesn’t have the energy to kill me? Don’t have Death at all?
Is there anything other than Viveki (Learned- Matured- Intelligent- Wise -balanced )which can remove the Sorrow? What is the use of a Birth for those Millions of Living beings who are swayed by Desire caused by Kama, Anger , Greed, Ego, Lust, Arrogance, Jealousy ? Without the benefits of Past Births , by observing the Dharma, and having achieved Purity in Chith(enshrined Memory),and from the eternal Samadhi (Meditation- without food/Living) and mingling Your Soul with the Eternal Omnipresent God, those Great persons who have crossed the Samsaara Sagaram(Ocean of Family Life with trials and tribulations), do they have desire or hatred caused by Sin or Good deeds (Paap-Punya)?Can the Sins touch them? They do not have any suffering even if they part with those things on which they have special affinity. There is no fear if things which are not desirable. So I do Bow on to those Great persons who do not have yearning or Despise. They are the Noblest. Can I also become like them? My dear Rama knows in Depth the various forms of Joy and Sorrow .My Dear Life (Husband) has forsaken me, Great Sinner Ravana I am caught in his clutches; I am not going to agree to him; instead of dieing in his ahnds it is better I die myself.”thus Lamented Sita. (Slokas 51)
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