Sita tries Commiting Suicide
Sita having heard the Cruel words of Ravana bled from heart she trembled like the Female elephant being harassed in isolation by a Lion.Even by nature she is timid; being caught in the web of Rakshasis, scared by Ravana’s words, in the uninhabited Forest like a small girl having been left alone due to cruelty of Famine, she was alone without her kin as though she has been forsaken cried aloud.” Oh My I have not done least bit Punyam(Good Deeds)? Being threatened like these, still I am alive.The Death will not come until the Karmas are completed as told by Elders is true only. What a pity I My Manam{ Chitha (Memory) +Inner Conscience Mind +Intellect(Bhuddhi) +Ego}which has not seen comfort and constantly having only Dhukkam(Grief, Pain, Anguish, sorrow, suffering,worry, unhappiness,heart rending situations )why has it not turned into pieces despite being hammered by tragedies like The Moutain’s peak hit by Indra’s Vajhrayudha.It is becoming certain it has no end;, why should I not lay down my Life? and there is no Dosh(Fallacy, deficiency, defect,flaw, offence, weakness, fault, imperfection, shortcoming, blame, catch, mistake, guilt, reflection , accused, culprit,delinquent, culpable,convice, blameworthy) in it. Is it not a Great Sin? However Ravana will kill me is a certainity. hence instead of dieing at his hands “ By some means one should retain one’s Life” is the dcotrines of Smruthi then would my mind ever will follow Ravana’s desire? Wll my mind go towards Ravana? Can others teach Vedas to Brahmins? When that be so. Lord of the World Rama if he doesn’t ccome in the next months here , Like the surgeon cuts of the limbs of the dead child in the womb with necessary instruments like wise Ravana will cut off my Limbs wiihtout any mercy. Thief after stealing and is imprisoned and is going to be hanged next day morning, as to how he will be thinking of his imminent death again and again, like wise the deadline of Ravana in the coming months as it nears my body shivers with fright Like the Ship which is caught in a swirling storm ie Cyclone or Typhoon and is about to sink like wise my self who had done the greatest Sin , I am going to be destroyed,Haa I Rama I You have the name that you can give happiness to all the Living beings is it impossible for you to remove my sorrow and bestow happiness on me? Lakshmana I if by chance Rama does not bother , as per Your mother Sumithra’s advice while starting for the Forest ‘ Consider Sita like me’ , since you consider me as your Mother, even have you developed indifference towards me? Hey Sumithra Devi who knows the real form of God I , your son , is over ruling your words, and forsaking myself as I am his Mother, is it justified for you to keep quite? Kauhslaya devi I Trusting your son you sent me to Forest , haven’t you come to know that he has left me in the lurch? All these people forsaking me in not a crime, My mother you are, is it Dharam to be so callous about my plight?
Like the thunder fell on 2 Lions and destroyed them,Mareecha in the disguise of Deer has he killed those Strong Princes? Other wise won’t they protect me? A meager Rakshasaa has he the power to kill Ram Lakshmana?Hence the God of time took the guise of Deer and cheated Luckless me. Or else will I drive Rama and then Lakshmana thereafter? Rama I You have face that of Full Moon Night and Long Arms I you are liked by all creatures I You have Sathayam(Truth ) as observance of Fast. My death at Rakshasaas place is not known to you. Will I not get an opportunity to see your Face ?Have your Arms do not have the Energy/ Power to save me ? Are you worthy of the name Rama when you are not able to wipe my Suffering and confer happiness? Rama I the God you pray is Sriman Narayana; Am I not I worshipping him? Can I think of any God other than you to save me even in my Dream? Can I not turn the entire Rakshasaa clan into Ashes by the power of My Pathivratha Agni ( Fire of my Power of Chastity) ? When I have surrendered to you totally; all my responsibility becomes yours. If I do any efforts for my self, it is against the grain of philosophy of Charanagathi ( Last resort is to fall at God's Feet shedding one's Ego, Anger, Attachment ,Desire, intelligence and seek his guidance, for he knows what is in store for us).i am bearing all these insults, torture as other wise it will be a stain on your Valour. Could I not have remained in Ayodhya enoying all the Royal comforts and pleasures? If I just look at Ravana will not greater Luxuries , wealth, and all these un imaginable things will they not fall at my feet? Without accepting same, I came alongwith you to Forest and experienced all the troubles therein , here I am sitting in barren ground as mere dust. My intellect has not lapsed from the path of Dharma even for a Kshan ( 4 seconds – time taken to inhale & exhale) To the extent possible I am observing and protecting the Pathivratha( pure pristine and Noblest, Chaste, Loving, Humble dotting Wife not falling prey to Fame, Money or Power) Dharma. Oh My like the help rendered to ungrateful is a waste , all these of mine have they gone waste? Will the words of Elders and Sashtras belie the belief that by observing them one would get the best of benefits? You have also left me; I do not have the belief that I will see you again; not seeing my body has become white in colour(anemic?); I have belived you as God and followed Dharma but they are of no use.
It may be possible that as per your father’s command you complete the 14 Years in Forest, return to Ayodhya and with all the troubles over, Cornated as the King, will spend your time happily with wide eyed beautiful ladies. Whereas I am Luckless; Whatever the Penance and Fasts have gone waste. The Love I have for you is end less; that has become the reason for my death; so iam going to give up the unworthy Praanan(-Life force, Last Breathe,that without which causes Physical and medical Death). I can kill myself by drinking poison or with weapons. But will there be Benificiary who will come and give them to me? All materials to spoil me will be instatntly available. But the Means to save me in ensuring my path of Dharam will those be available amongst these Sinners? “ thus unable to bear the torture of Rakshasis , Sita blabberd in many ways like this “ “ it is a must that I should die before Rakshasis wake up” thus thinking of Rama in all ways came near the Sishmbha Tree where Hanuman was hiding. Then she thought over how to lay down her life and decided that by Tieng up her Hair Braid on the Branch of the Tree surrounding her neck is the best way; My troubles will be over and I will quickly go to Yama Lok (Place where Dead go )” saying thus Sita who was a Flower herself, Stood holding the tree.
Then “ Knowing Rama’s strength fully can I do like this without belief in him? May be due to immense Mercy , he might have pardoned the enemy and is having patience. But Lakshamana who was ready to punish Dasratha and Bharatha will he be patient?further the Janak Lineage is how pure it is I Because of me it will get an unerasable Dosh(Fallacy, deficiency, defect,flaw, offence, weakness, fault, imperfection, shortcoming, blame, catch, mistake, guilt, reflection, accused, culprit,delinquent, culpable,convice, blameworthy)” thus
When she was thinking many good omens appeared. They were very known as those which have only conferred Blessing happiness to one and all till then. It was though telling Sita “ Why are you in agony? be courageous” so it appeared. (Slokas 20)
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